I'm a slacker.

I know you're all waiting eagerly to follow the next day of blog but I've been a bit busy so haven't updated.

The RS conversion is hitting all sorts of problems from bonnet not shutting through to both donor and scummer having broken heater matrix' and alarms (yes, even with a completely new set of electrics) not behaving.

On top of that I've been sitting exams, helping folk out and being a parent so time has been tight.

As it is half term next week I am intending to update when I would normally have been at college but I will try to get at least a couple of days worth of trip covered to make up for it.

In summary, set your alarms early for Wednesday morning so you've got plenty of time to read the blog before you go to work.


Savage.

Not really an update...

OK, to those of you eagerly waiting the blog of the 1st day of driving, I'm going to disappoint you I'm afraid.  Today I am very pushed for time as I have a lot of things to do.  Tomorrow, if I can find a power point on the train, I will blog it there.

The reason for me being on a train and mentioning it here is simple.  The train is Colchester to home.  Why am I returning from Colchester on the train...?  Because I'm driving the scumrnner up there and leaving it together with another addition to the ever growing Savage fleet of motors.

Yes, I've bought another one.  I am (albeit for not very long at all), the owner of a low mileage MK6 RS2000.  That RS2000 is going to be used as a donor for an engine (plus a few other bits) swap.  This should ramp the power up to the levels of being insanely fast on the power to weight ratio. 

It is at this point that I want to mention 2 people that have made this possible. 

First I want to again thank Mike Singh from Ilford for agreeing to let me have his car for this project.  On eBay it went nowhere near either his buy it now price or indeed his reserve.  For the age and condition of the car as far as I can tell, both were set realistically.  I emailed him (and have spoken to him on the phone now) and begged, pleaded and to be fair probably annoyed him.  But Mike is a legend.  He had a look at the blog, saw that I was indeed a genuine weirdo but doing good things for terminally ill kids and agreed to let me have the car for very very little money indeed - considerably cheaper than me sourcing the parts seperately.  I won't say how much as I don't know if he has told his missus what he has done, but let's say it was an absolute gem of a purchase with the return of two ponies from a monkey...

Secondly, Ash from AWM auto services deserves a massive mention as well.  A keen member of the FEOC-UK site he comes highly recommended from everyone that has dealt with him.  It is with this in mind that I asked for his assistance in this project.  He was aware of the Floppy Throttle scumrunner and with the charity edge in mind I sought a quote.  He has come out as again, a wonderful wonderful man.  Once again, I do not know if he wants our agreement for this made public or not so I won't place it on here.  All I will say is I know full well that I could not get a better price anywhere else. 

The guy is so respected that I'm travelling a 6 hour round trip to drop the car off, and another (probably faster return leg lmao) 6 hours to collect.  If you have a Ford and want a bit of a change, try him.  http://www.awm-auto-services.co.uk/ The website is a work in progress so please don't judge his mechanical abilities by his html programming skills - Web design and engine swap abilities aren't linked in any way.

In view of the new engine needing a bit of a run, the ferry is booked from Dover, 9 June for a couple of days away (maybe enough time to hit the 'Bahn's) with the wifey.



That to one side I will get the second of the Scumrun 2011 blogs running tomorrow (hopefully).


Savage

Brands Hatch...

Here's the first installment of our little  Euro adventure... 

As expected, Gruff came round first thing.  I say first thing, I was still asleep in my duvet coccoon when he text me at half 8 wondering why I hadn't phoned him.  The answer is I was knackered.  The previous evening I had collected the Mother in Law as she was helping the wife out over the coming few days.  The theory was simple and that Maxine would look after the baby in our spare room on Wednesday night so I could guarantee a decent nights sleep before the run.  For those of you that know Max, then you'll know that at times she can be bloody good entertainment and we ended up chatting til gone 2 in the morning so the good nights sleep went out the window.

Anyway, Gruff came round at about 9am, and our theory was to leave the house at 10:30 to hit Clacketts Lane services for 12:00.  All the checks were made; passports, driving licenses, insurance paperwork, details of charity giving etc... and we were ready.  All that was left to do before we went was kiss the kids, cuddle the wife and say "ta-ra" to the mother in law.  That done we hung about for another 15 minutes faffing about for Max to figure out her camera to take a couple of pics.  Roof dropped, sunnies on and we're off.

We've done the pre-flight checks (engine starts, stereo works) and headed up the A3.  It really didn't take too long before we started noticing people staring at the car but this was just a drop as to what we could expect coming.

Moving on an hour or so we hit the services that we had arranged to meet folk in.  We turned up looking for an easy place to park so we would be noticable to other teams and tucked into a little corner of the car park.  It's at this point that I thought we might have an issue with the exhaust.  It sounded like an angry god beating a drum filled with nails whilst roaring like his gonads were on fire.  Not good.  However my worry was almost immediately turned to awe.  I checked the rear view mirror to see Team bugsplat and instantly I twigged that it was Joe's exhaust making this insane experience.  To say his exhaust is loud is like saying waking up to find the under 21's female gymnastic squad naked and begging for a piece of your lovin' is pleasant.  It's not.  Words cannot begin to describe the grin that makes (the exhaust note, not the gymnasts).

The picture doesn't really show how low this car is, but so you get the idea, the front corner splitters are so low that you cannot fit a 20 pack of ciggies beneath them.  The paint job is amazing and the sound of it (even with it's noise suppressor in) is oh,so,gooooooood. 

Shortly after Joe and Dave turned up in Bugsplat, they left as they needed to be in Brands to catch up with Ed and co before carnage was created.  We waited patiently and a few other teams turned up and we had a pleasant chat with them before heading off.

Those of you that actually know me are aware how bad I am with remembering names, so I tend not to bother asking, but I'm pretty good with cars so apologies to the following guys, as I forgot you real names...  (and forgot to take your photo's at the time of meeting you but these are taken later on during the rally).  But in the services we had:

The 90's Jag boys (complete with ma-hoooooosive mobile phones) in their ridiculous fuel consuming wagon:

(Picture taken at camp a couple days later)

The BritSAABroad (see what they did with the team name...  I like it, quite clever) in an old Saab with union flag painted full length - **I haven't actually managed to fnd a pic of this so if you have one, please feel free to forward it on and I'll paste it in another time**

Team Cav-o-flauge sponsored by dulux/crown and their local pub.  They proudly pointed out that they had decorated the car when drunk but it looked quite good.  Driver A (I really am bad with names) was wearing a military uniform and chuckled as he walked away from the entrance to the services having been saluted, and Driver B, was a fantastic guy that looks a bit like a B-Movie henchman dressed in a velour pimp suit:

(Picture taken outside the Verve Clique building in France a day later)

Whilst we were all having a chat and I was handing out the Voltz Energy Shots (plug made) we heard that noise that worries anyone gathered in a batch of silly cars hanging about...  Full on police siren.  Upon a quick glance it seemed that the origin of this noise wasn't from a police car, nor a subtle unmarked wagon, but from a bright orange M-Series beemer.  One of ours is sporting front grill lights and siren.  Oh this is shaping up to be interesting.  They pulled in, gave the sirens a blat and pulled out again so heres a piccy of them when we finally caught up a day or so later...

This car caused a lot of discussion about whether it genuinely fell into the under £500 limit.  The owners reckon they got it from auction and who am I to raise an eyebrow?  If they did, it's a deal, it's a steal, it's sale of the mother funkin' century.

Whilst in the services attention was brought to our mystery cabinet, so I explained the insides of it to the Jag / Saab boys and booted up a quick demonstration of the sound system.  I completely forgot at that point that we had a family parked next to us and the poor grandma woke to "Son of a Preacher man" at full whack.  Sorry Granny, but that confused and slightly scared look on your face was priceless.

Time is ticking on by this point so we agreed to disperse to Brands Hatch in an orderly manner.  We swapped drivers so Gruff could have a go and he lost the Jag within 2 minutes (they lost us in fairness), but using his knowledge of everything truck drivery and his unique knowledge of Britains roads, he set the Sat Nav to Barcelona (honestly) and disappeared off the wrong exit of the M25.  By the time we had turned round got back on to the M25, found the right exit and arrived at Brands, we were greeted by quite a few chuckles.  Even the Cav boys who left 10 minutes after us were there wondering how we could be so late.  I blamed Gruff and shouldered very little of the piss-taking.

Anyway, we made it to Brands Hatch (which a lot of teams failed to make) so we could be entered into the rally.  Stage 1 complete.

Queing to be registered was simple enough, 2 lines, 5 cars from line A into the paddock, then 5 from Line B. 

When we pulled up into line B, these were the guys next to us.  It sort of set the tone for the weekend - Nuns drinking beer whilst driving a New York Taxi.

Once we were parked we had an interesting bunch of guys pull up behind us.  Ever so slightly weird but dear God they were entertaining.  The YMCA police car with working sirens lights and seemingly 1 CD single (guess???) playing over and over again.  The guy in the leather chaps and stripey budgie smugglers took a liking to Gruff from the offset and everywhere we looked it seemed his holstered feathers friends beak was staring at us.

Also whilst waiting I introduced myself to a guy called Jon and his Missus Kelly.  They  were driving as T5 volvo estate and I've been keeping an eye on his blog for last few weeks ( http://www.blindpanic.kjfox.co.uk/ ) and thought I better say hi.

Once again, photo taken a day or so later.

Having been called through and registered our car, it was time to get the sticky numbers on the doors.  Those of you that have been following this blog, and more noticably those that have seen the car in the flesh will note that each of the graphis on the car have been put on with a bit of love, care and time.  Not a wrinkle on any of them and with the exception of 1 ropey bit of a triangle, I am proud.  However, the time came for them to apply the door numbers and I swear it was the lovechild of Stevie Wonder and Harvey Price's less talented cousin that put the numbers on the side.  Bubbled, wrinkled, wonky and looking bloody awful.  But that said, I came to love the look.  The numbers are still on the car and I'm proud of them now.  (The car still gets some weird looks when I nip to ASDA).

Numbered up, signed in, declarations signed for filming rights, next of kin forms filled and waivers saying I won't sue if I end up in a twisted heap of metal all sorted, we had a look round whilst we waited for the highlight - laps of Brands.

Quite a few cars had an insane amount of effort put in:

A BMW in camoflauge netting with moving turret and (worryingly) working gun.

Some had less obvious:

The mondingo, and behind them another Saab absolutely covered in "Page 3" models.

We awaited patiently for instructions and then we were told to follow onto the track.  Although it was a few laps, we were told only one driver allowed so with a quick glance at Gruff and a flash of my beigey - whites, it was agreed that I was driving.  By agreed, I mean I was in th drivers seat engine running by the time Gruff knew what was going on.

Onto the Track we went in an orderly manner following the safety car.  Well, sort of.  The first dip after corner 1 we followed then a few like minded children stopped whilst the safety car carried on leading a few.  With the pack a fair way in front, it was time to be childish.  Throttles open, Exhausts crying for a gear change and we're off.  Up into the first bend round that tight one, drop to an easy left, over the "S" leading to the final corner and as we get to the straight, it's time to slow down again as we've caught the safety car.  Checking the mirrors, I can see that the MK4 Escort XR3i Cabbie is behind us, with a Porsche 944 behind them.  Tidy.

Once again, we've let the safety car trundle on for a sensible distance and I've kept my eye on our older rival in the mirror.  He's still there and I've clocked in 85 before the final turn in.  Quck glance in the passenger mirror and yes, we've left him a bit.  Unfortunately I hadn't glanced in the drivers mirror and as I pulled in for the line, I saw a white wing mirror.  Unmistakeably not ours, but that of a Germa design.  The Porsche has had a spurt and we were astonishingly close to making contact.  I like to think that my natural driving ability and talent averted that crash, but more likely luck and panic stopped us from stacking on the track.

A more sedate 3rd lap was had and we followed the pack off the track at that point into the meeting point whilst other cars had a play and then for a group photo.

After which it was onto the bar for a couple of hours watching private track practice and meeting our co-drivers.  One group of guys featured quite heavily in that they were dressed as women.  Obviously cross dressing is an obvious outfit choice, but these Moulin Rouge guys look like rugby players.  Bloody massive but a really amusing set of people.

A little bit later we were ushered to the front of the room where the anticipated blah blah, good thing we are doing blah blah, over £65,000 raised speeches took place.  After the grown ups had said their bit, a young lad, maybe 12 or 13, made a speech.  He suffers from a disease with over 200 active symptoms.  Over 90 affect his day to day life and Dreams come True had helped him meet his hero Lewis Hamilton.  His gratitude and heart felt thanks reduced the crowd of well over 100 blokes to silence.  The heckling stopped as he rasped his words and every one there had a moment.  I am sure a few man drops fell from eyeballs.  The kid made a perfect speech and brought home that this is about them.  Not us having a jolly, not banging down the Autobahn, but about helping those a lot less fortunate than us.  Since returning home from this trip I have discovered that this charity may become a lot more relevant to my extended family and I hope that some of you continue to contribute via our just giving page.

After the speeches Gruff made his way back to the car for a nap.  Whilst the rest of the group continued to party.  Some got a little bit more lashed than others and the dance routine from one of Team Add Energy was a thing of beauty...  I did video him "busting his moves" but unfortunately I can't find it.  I know his team mates filmed it as well, so if you have a copy, please let me have it and I'll patch it into here :D

We left at about 10:30 - 11:00 and made our way to Dover.  It became apparant over the CB's that P&O weren't overly impressed with the idea of letting us in early so we pulled over a couple of miles out and laid low for a bit.  We met up with Team Big Ballers who had the AA out several times already and they were broken men.  Their car had died.  No fix available.  For them, the trip was over before the Ferry.  This was really upsetting for the guys as they had been looking forward for nearly a year to this run.  We met up with Joe & Dave (Bugsplat) and the Tank BMW and waited for a better time to approach and board.

How subtle and out of place do we look?

We made our way to the ferry and got booked in about 1am.  This gave us 2 hours before boarding so a few of the sensible ones (me) got a bit of shut eye whilst a few guys milled about.  Joe discovered that the only way you can sleep in an MX5 is by getting out and curling up into a ball on the boot, and Jon and Kelly (Volvo T5) discovered that although they could hear on their CB, they couldn't speak.  This led to  large amount of unanswered abuse via the CB when Jon or Kelly were leading the way in a couple of updates.

At approximately 3am we boarded the Ferry with a large amount of revving, horn blowing, siren screaming and shouting.

Once on board the ferry we congregated to a bar and were given a swift pep talk and our route destination for once we hit Calais.  My original thought had been turn up in Calais, take a few hours sleep and then the fun would begin, but no. we hit France and bang the nuts out of it from the off.  So there goes the sleep option.  We were given route cards with clues but the final destination would be Strassbourg.  We needed to go via both the Verve Clique HQ and also the Moet et Chandon HQ in the Champagne region.

Once we had the details we discovered with great amusement that BugSplats GPS wouldn't find anything in Europe unless you knew where the closest InterFlora was.  How we chuckled. 

We grabbed a couple of hundred fags from the duty free to keep us going, waited until we hit Calais, then entered the cars, waiting for the doors to be opened and the full wrath of 100 or so cars was unleashed upon the continent.

The journey was about to begin.......

Before reality sets in, a quick pre Run moment for you...

Well, I'm intending to carry on with the updating on a Tuesday, but I find myself awake and realising that I missed one important pre Scumrun moment.

Picture the scene...

It's a stunning day, the sun is shining, the car is gleaming, the birds are singing, Gruff and myself are grinning aware that in less than a couple of days we are off to the Euro drive of our lives.  Last minute checks are underway and I've unlocked the door of Juliette to do something.  Now I know a lot of you that are likely to be reading this are new but a few months ago we had an electric issue.  The alarms and immobiliser locked the car down. 

With a day or so to go, the problem has returned.  Alarms wailing and no ignition control lights.  Last time we found a quick fix (after a few days head scratching) and simply reset the alarms.  Unfortunately, that fix wasn't working today.  We have no time to lose and need to get the car started.  After an hour of (admittedly angry) discussion and suggestions I put a cry out for help on Facebook whilst Gruff jumped on the phone (to O2 about his contract - Grrrrrrrrrr I was not happy).  I phoned a few alarm and immobiliser specialists in the area (all of which wanted us to take the car to them - not happening) and we got to a dead end.  Time is desperately running out.  With my tetchy-ness reaching new levels Gruff buggered off to see a mate of a mate who doesn't deal with car electrics but "knows a bit".  After 20 minutes or so he came back holding a piece of paper with the phone number of someone else.  The someone else is an auto electrician and with a job title like that you know his time isn't going to be cheap.

Before we phoned him, we had a try at a suggestion made by his original friend of a friend.  Instead of using the black "slave" key to lock/unlock in the drivers side, we tried locking and unlocking in the passenger side with the red "master" key.  This worked.  Levels of anger went back to normal and I was happy. 

By this time I had received a detailled breakdown of the problem most likely to be a relay issue (get back to that in a few updates) from an interesting source.  A few months back in a bored moment, I added every person with the same name as me (male and female) and became friendly with a few of them - great people.  Anyway, one of my females (who is due to give birth any day now - good luck) has a partner called Danny.  Now as luck woulld have it, Danny is well into his cars.  As even stranger luck would have it, Danny has an Escort Cab an seems to know it's workings very well.  So he sent me his number and said he would talk me through the problem over the phone.  As it happens, we didn't need the advise (although gratefully received) but nice to know strangers do help folk out.

So with just a few hours to go, all things were looking good.  Bags packed, car clean and working, myself and Gruff both sporting new "tough stickers" (I love that phrase - courtesy of Hill - you will meet him in a few updates) and ready to roll.  The mother in law has been collected, the wife and kids have been kissed and the cat is in hiding.

With the exception of meeting my wife, and having kids, the greatest few days of my life were about to unfold and I'm going to be sharing these days with you over the next few weeks.

For those of you that want a better insight into my warped life or see more images from the rally, feel free to add me on facebook by email address - chrissavage5@msn.com

Highlights & lowlights...

Well, I'm still in the mourning period.  I'm waking up and my first thought is "Wonder where we are going today?"  Then the brain slowly figures out I'm warm, in a house and snuggled up to a beautiful woman, not Gruff.  Either I got lucky or I'm back home.

I'm back home.

I will do a proper update real soon, but I wanted to throw in some teasers about whats coming over the next few weeks.  The intention is to go for 1 update a week, detailing what happened per day.  So 5 days (including the launch night at Brands Hatch) means in 5 weeks time you should have the full story.

Here's my brief notes about whats coming up...

Weirdo's at M25 services
Bugsplat and low low car
Bright orange BMW with police siren
Gruffs inability to leave the M25 in the right direction
YMCA budgie smugglers
Nuns and an NYC Taxi
Stevie Wonder applying race stickers
Lamborghini energy Fiat
Thrash round the Brands track
Porsche tickling
Ford Cotina V8 with scary drag drivers
Lack of lager
Ferry not letting drivers on
Low profile at Dover
Team Big Ballers not making Dover
Round cup, dented can, Gruff moaning
Fuel spilt everywhere
Meeting the convoy
Fried brakes
Top end lost
Pissing in front on Gendarmes
Speed Camera Oopsy
Leading a 7 car cnvoy throwing an illegal U-turn at lights
Parking to avoid the German police (again)
AUTOBAHN - Hell yes
Brakes brought back to life
Volvo estate vs Merc - warning lights
Jo's camera
Electrical breakdown
Having a wee on side of motorway, traffic clears, I chase our convoy on foot
No coffee
Trainers drying in engine bay
Fly's in sun cream
No MIC in volvo
Polo of power
FTO noise incredible in tunnels
German police finally nab us - Carrying AK47's and CS spray...  not good
Prague police not happy with us being in Czech
Cobbles
Polo finally has a problem
Add Energy Team disappear
Trainers from the boot
FTO vs Mad MX5 dogfight
Hillbillies
German police bikes give us an odd reception
Colditz dressed as US figher pilots
Running with the Big Dog
Remembering drive on the right - nearly killed a motorcyclist
A decent breakfast at last
Haribo statue "borrowed"
T5 Satnav getting confused
Polo lives and happy at 90
Lots of sleepy time
Blopcked Brugge center for 2 hours with a dead scumrunner - we were not popular with the locals, police, bus drivers and sure that Subway spat in our food.

OK, well thats the brief highlights, I'll go into more detail another tme, but that weekend rocked and I want to go again....


Anyone else want to come - registration opens in 6 days for Scumrun 2012


Savage

We're back...

We are back, and I'm knackered.  I willl get the blog rolling again in a couple of days with lots of pictures and hopefully some video but for now, it's cuddle time with the wifey and kids.

We had fun and I'll fill you in soon.

Savage

2 more sleeps to go...

It is Tuesday 26th April.  roughly 7am at the time of knocking this blog up. 

I've got to say, right now, THANK YOU to the people that have donated, entered raffles, provided parts and/or services for the car, given technical advice when needed, told me to grow up when I started to get a bit carried away (the white leather re-trim would have been lush though).  For everybody that I have got into touch with since we sarted this rally and who has listened to my insane suggestions or simply put up with me telling them how long is left, I thank you.

To the postman who has single handedly brought most of the parts to my dooor for this project (and carried most of them back to the depot again) and my neighbours who have put up with having no rear access to their garden for the last 8 months or so due to various bits of cars in the way, I thank you.

I have met a lot of people in this period of my life (including "chuckles" at the sorting office) and I think it has been interesting.  I have tried to bring about an understanding of why nothing goes to plan, and that if you try you can get a banger to a bloody high standard if you throw enough time at it. 

Speech over with, lets get on to my week of suffering.  And suffer I have.  Since Friday night I have been very very unwell.  The wife did a weigh in for me and I've lost nearly 8lb's over just 4 days.  If I had that much weight to spare, then what a wonderful diet it would be.  Unfortunately I don't and I am feeling a bit concerned.  Vomit I can handle and put up with; wind the window down and just blow chunks trying not to hit whoever is following you, but the poo thing is really worrying.  Even Immodium can't stop the rip tide that is flowing through my system.  I am desperately hoping that my innards fix themselves before we leave or there is going to be issues with even attending the 'run.  This is a bit close to the event for my liking.

That to one side, only 2 days to go.

The car is as ready as it needs to be.  Sounds great, runs fine, all the legal bits covered, breakdown sorted, cb mounted, sound system grade B (I would say grade A, but I've got 2 spare subs in the shed that will be housed in there on our return to take it to A-), we have duplicates of licenses and passports so should those nice men in silly uniforms wsh to "retain" our documents, we can still get back into the country with the aid of an ambassador (I hope he has Ferrerro Roche' - I like them.  Not as good as caramel shortbread but living in the land of Johnny Foreigner, they might be hardto get hold of).

So, providing my guts don't rot away in the next 2 days, we're golden.  I'm going to try and update this on a daily basis but post it over the coming 5 weeks or so.

Finally, I'm going to have a crack at a poem.  Not sure why as I'm not a poet, just seems a good thing to do as I'm hunched in front of a keyboard.  I say a poem, I'm changing my mind.  To the tune of "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus....

I hopped in the car, my Juliette,
It didn't really cost a bomb,
Need to book it for an MOT Test,
Make it a legal tin.

The garage well they
failed it the first time,
Look on the bonnet, see the Flop-py sign,
This is getting costly,
It all seems against us.

Time is ticking and the car is still in bits
sent it out to a man to work on
Thats when Sextons Dude amped the radio
and a Miley song went on,
and the Miley song was on
and the Miley song was on.

So I put my roof down
Get rid of the pong
The carpet has to go
Nodding my head like yeah,
Movin' my hips like yeah,
I got my roll up,
Hits from the bong,
Cypress Hill rocked in the day
Yeah the party starting near Calais
Yeah, the party starting near Calais

Get to the start with a roof that's rag,
The yoof are looking at me now,
Thinking "Who's that dick thats driving shit"
It's gonna need a new clutch now

Took it down to Hayling Island
Not sure if it's a dogging party
All I see is a focus
A shame I never got the photo

Time is ticking and the car is back in bits
sent it out to a man to work on
Thats when Triangle Dude ramped the scummer
and a Dolly song went on,
and the Dolly song was on
and the Dolly song was on.

So I put my roof down
Get rid of the pong
The carpet has to go
Nodding my head like yeah,
Movin' my hips like yeah,
I got my roll up,
Hits from the bong,
Cypress Hill rocked in the day
Yeah the party starting near Calais
Yeah, the party starting near Calais

Feel like shopping in the night (in the night)
Using eBay homepage tonight (page tonight)
Paypal stops my overtime (overtime)
I remember the budget it's alright

So I put my roof down
Get rid of the pong
The carpet has to go
Nodding my head like yeah,
Movin' my hips like yeah,
I got my roll up,
Hits from the bong,
Cypress Hill rocked in the day
Yeah the party starting near Calais
Yeah, the party starting near Calais

So I put my roof down
Get rid of the pong
The carpet has to go
Nodding my head like yeah,
Movin' my hips like yeah,
I got my roll up,
Hits from the bong,
Cypress Hill rocked in the day
Yeah the party starting near Calais
Yeah, the party starting near Calais


OK, so it's not fantastic, but I'm not a song writer.

Well, going to wrap it up on the blog side of things till we get back (providng my guts last that long).

Take care.


Savage

11 days. ooooooh...............

I'm writing this little bit on Sunday morning.   It's oh, so, quiet.  Dadadade dah.  Or something like that.  And now I've got that damn Icelandic woman Bjork's song going through my head.  I'll stick youtube on in a minute and see if actually listening to it shifts it.

Well, lets get down with what I do worst.  Blog writing.  You'll see (if I have set it up right) that there is a poll, Q/A thing to the right with a couple of headings.  Next years car, Should I carry on the blog after Scumrun just with my weekly bumbling life story, and something else.  Feel free to comment on there.

But back to this week.  Well, importantly, we raised nearly £150 on the back of the raffle for the DodoJuice and Voltz energy drinks so that was a brilliant effort by a select few of you to get some cool stuff cheap.  I think I've posted the result in relevant forums and if I  missed any, then here they are.  DodoJuice will be off to it's new owner "Marine Iguana" from the Escort Cabriolet Club, with a case of Voltz going to "Hightower" & "Neston Vasey" both from the Ford Enthusiast and Owners Club.  We still have a few cases of Voltz left over but they are going to be sustaining Gruff and I for the duration of the rally with any extras being handed out to washed out looking rival teams.

I have exchanged a few emails with Rob Arnold - Chief of Voltz and not only do the drinks hit the spot, it turns out the company is run by a really nice guy.  We have some new stickers from him, water bottles, drinkies and a pair of great shirts to wear.

There is a little thing he is understandably annoyed by.  He has outsourced the printing work to a tshirt company with what he wanted on the shirts.  At casual glance they look tickety boo, but as I was putting the graphics on the car I double checked something.  http://www.voltzenergyshot.co.uk/ is the web address.  The T-Shirt guys have done http://www.voltzenergyshots.com/ - although they look similar, the second web address does not exist.  Rob seems a very calm individual but just a tad irked by this.  I'm more than happy with them and have no issues wearing them and he's happy for us to wear them as advertising, but if I was sponsoring a team and the t-shirt folk buggered it up this close to deadlines I would be livid.  On the phone, toys out of the pram, insisting that the next batch were issued immediately with the logo's made out of flesh ripped from the proofreader and ironed on.  But Rob seems ok about it.  Strange.  Maybe I have too much frustration built up inside me.  May be worth figuring out how to conceal weapons in the Scumrunner and go on a Mad Max / Death Race style rampage during the rally.

Apart from that, I liked the Tshirts fine.  Mine fits and when I had a quick casual glance at Gruffs, it seems massive.  However, Gareth popped round yesterday to have a cup of tea and he tried his on.  There is a phrase dating back some way along the lines of "looks like 10lb's of shit in a 5lb bag".  This is quite relevant as squeezing 20 stone of hairy taff into an xxl shirt was a bit of a challenge.  If you can picture a Silverback gorilla wearing a wetsuit, you're not far off the image that I saw.  It was a sight that I really wish I had captured on film and sent to the BBC. 

We could have Attenborough's whispered and hushed tones as an audio track....  "And here we have the last known Gruffallo, making his way to the fridge in search of his staple food, pasties.  He seems to be wearing an item of childrens clothing and looks in discomfort.  If we watch here closely, you will spot that he has noticed the humans laughing at him and this does not bode well.  shhhhh, hear his war cry - "Bastards" as he storms away..."

Well thats how my warped mind saw the event anyway.  I've emailed Voltz and asked very nicely if the tshirty people can knock up another one as we did order the right size, they just sent the wrong one.

Whilst Gruff was over yesterday, we also had another visitor / worker.  Matt from MRB carpentry returned and finished off the sound cabinet thingy.  We now have a cushty (apologies for that but I've heard the word recently) little cubby hole with one of my eldest boy's toy cars as a door knob.  In the words of the worlds only popular ginger male - Manama ma ma, I'm loving it.  He's done a great job in covering the build frame that I made with flush to exterior mouldings, purple fleece, a hatch entrance to the cubby hole and he actually enjoyed doing it so thats good. 

We broached the subject of improvements for when we get back and the new plan is going to draw some power.  From a quick measure up and scratch of heads, we reckon we should be able to fit a lot of component mid-range and tweeters up front, with a couple of extra amps, the 6.x9's, 2 x 8"subs just below the rear windows together with a couple 12" sat behind each of the front seats.  Thats the challenge for the next sound install.

We now also have 24 bright blue LED's for an interior light which look stunningly amzingly beautiful when lit up at night, boucing the colour straight back off the purple fleece on the sound build.  Oh I really don't want to get rid of this car.  Might have to put it into storage when we get back and Never sell it.

Thinking of when we get back and preps for another year of fun, I've been chatting to a couple of chaps who want to get in on the scumrun action next time round.  How about those interested in forming a convoy for next year (I won't hold you to it, I just want a rough idea of numbers) email me floppythrottle@live.co.uk and we'll see if we can get a decent group sorted.  Have 3/4/5 cabbies laid out the same (or any other cars) I think would be pretty cool.

Apart from that, good news.  It seems that my nervous breakdown has been avoided.  The trickling oil is apparantly soot, water and condensation.  We have lost oil somewhere (seperate problem), but the black goo is the soot etc that normally settles on the inside of your exhaust pipe (hence it looks black on the inside of your pipe).  As it's a new system, there's nowhere for it to stick yet, so it trickles out the end.  This means I am happy happy.

So now we are back to where we were  a couple of weeks ago...  Just waiting for 2 graphics and we are good to go.  I even got one of the printers round to my house, fed him and let him fawn over the car as a kick up the arse.  It was a lovely feed, I slow roasted a duck over 6 hours (2 hours uncovered at 200, then droppped the temperature down to 70, wrapped the bird in foil with a little butter inside, and left for 4 hours). Whilst that was doing, I threw together a salad, with both leaves and sweet mix adorned by a small selection of tiny cheese cubes, with some fresh minted boiled with skin new potatoes.  Pulled the duck out 10 mins before I served, ripped the meat, threw it in the salad still warm and it was gorgeous.  This was followed by a Death by chocolate double choc cheesecake with a couple of clementine segments which countered the sweet chocolate with their sharpness an got the taste buds dancing like a Bollywood starlet at an audition.  Hopefully we will get that vinyl on the car soon.

Thats my Nigella moment over and done with.

I've figured out how to change the settings on the JVC camcorder thingy, and if I take it down from 1080pHD to a boggo standard VGA setting, I can fit about 40 hours of recording on there.  Thats loads more than I need.  We'v run through a fnal checklist of stuff needed and the last item needed is a warning triangle in case of Euro breakdown so that is now on route to us.

In 11 days we will be making our way to "THE SCUMRUN 2011" and I for one am pant-wettingly, trouser-tentingly excited about it.

The only thing I'm still unsure about is this blog and I would appreciate comments below.  I say appreciate, it doesn't mean that I will listen to the masses, I'm just seeking advice.  When we return, do I just update the blog in one hit covering the event, or spread it out as 1 Day = 1 blog entry.  Involves less effort for me and means YOU get to enjoy it longer, or get it over and done with in one hit and end the blog?  Thoughts???



Savage.

2 Weeks, 2 Days....

Whats happened in the last few days?  Well, to be fair, not a massive amount. 

The car is nearly good to go, with the exception of 2 graphics.  1 Big bold orange PM Electrical that will reach across the bonnet like a fat man hugging lard, and 1 last minute sticky sticky.  Now I do want to point out that yes, it's a car.  Yes it's quite large compared to, say, a business card, but it's not a bloody billboard.  There is a finite amount of space on the car and it's pretty full at the moment.

The reason I'm bringing this up is 2 fold. 1-We've finally run out of room, and 2-If you want to advertise on a Scumrun car (other than ours) then it can still be arranged.  With 120 cars going on this rally in a couple of weeks, there is bound to be someone struggling to raise the required sponsorship. 

We have even managed to sell the rear window as ad space and even Sir Alan and his apprentice goons would struggle with achieving that - what with it being a fold down roof and the intention being that the rear window won't actually be seen.  But, the good ladies at http://www.phoenixindependentmidwives.co.uk/ are such nice people that they don't mind. 

The important thing is that they helped out such a good cause and the advertising issue wasn't the most pressing thing from the donation.  Louise, one of the lovely ladies in question, has shown a massive interest in what we have been up to all the way through the preperation.  If you live in the London area, you want to drop your sprog into the world with a scabby NHS employee riddled with disease, overworked with a case load that means she won't remember you at any meetings, and imported for a few pence, then go for it.  Otherwise, either move down our way of the world and hope to get the ones we had, or, go private.  Have the lovely Phoenix girlies on call 24 hours, with their low volume high care approach.  The same midwife all the way through and genuinely passionate about your birthing experience.

Moving on from fawning about ladies in uniform that touch other ladies bits in a caring way, we almost have the sound cabinet finished.

To be fair, the sound part of it is finished.  Speakers, amps, sub etc all fitted nicely together and looking splendid.  Yes, I did use the word splendid.  Ding dong, dash and bother will be coming out to play in my vocab soon so watch out.  We have a functional, good looking sound chest thanks to Matt at MRB Carpentry giving up his day of golf and fitting the lid snugly.  He is giving up another day of golf (hahaha) to butcher the work already done and put an access point to the cabinet so that such essentials as fags, energy drinks, water pistols etc are easily to hand from the passenger seat.

I got hold of Rob at Voltz energy and he is sending out the goodies this week so that's in hand and I've run through the checklist of paperwork required and once I get some more printer ink, we're golden on that front. 

So this is the stage we are at:  Awaiting 2 graphics, and 1 hole to be cut out of a box.  Pretty good huh?  Well, no. 

We have hit a little problem.  May not be such a little problem, I'm awaiting advice about quite how big a problem it really is.  You may remember a while back that we had condensation dribbling out the back of the car and a decent thrash seemed to fix it?  I'm no longer in the wonderful "it's condensation" place.  When the engine is running, you can see little heated up balls of oil running out of the exhaust and dropping their little puddles to the ground.  There is no leak showing under the engine, the oil level is dropping which means to my guess, somewhere, we are getting oil int the fuel system and that's really not a problem I want to be tackling with 2 weks left.  It's not a problem I think  we can get away with ignoring either.  Bugger.

Once I know how bad it is, then I can either cry or have a complete breakdown.  I'm under no impression that powered by fairydust is an option - it's an engine not a fictional chariot.  I saw a great sticker the other day "Stick your fairydust up your ass - Cosworth Power" and made me chuckle.

To do list - photocopy driving license, chase vinyl printers, print copy of passport, fix engine, hold raffle draw (2 days to go - get donating), and find some clothes (apart from our genuine muslim worship Thobes - oh yes indeedy).

Hmmm eyebrows go up at that point?  Thought they might.  You may as well know our outfits now, as not long left until we go.  We have a couple of hoodies sourced by Gruff with Floppy Throttle on the back and Gruff / Savage on the left tit for if we need to be grown ups, but we also have prayer robes.  And masks.  Full on hood to ankle worship rags.

So if you can picture 2 grown men in a purple convertible, dressed like fanatical worshippers, with masks that make us look a cross betwen one of the 7 dwarves and merlin, driving through passport control with replica AK47's (battery powered water pistols) you're not far off understanding the news report of "2 Englishmen slaughtered by Border control" which will most likely in the press in about 16 days.

Hi ho, hi ho, back to buggering about I go....


Savage